Love Does

“Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous, do not be afraid. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

Be. Not. Afraid. Growing up, we all have our security blankets. Whether it’s a literal blanket that we carry around, or maybe a parent or a sibling, we all feel a constant need to feel safe, comfortable – in control. For me, my security blanket was my family. I was extremely blessed to have two very Godly men as my role models in my Grandfather and Father. I spent countless hours playing catch with my Dad, and spent days doing nothing but playing games with my Grandpa. I’ve taken trips to hardware stores, banks, and more notably – carwashes. See, my Grandpa had this old 90’s blue pickup truck with a black topper on the back; I can still see it like it was yesterday. Well, he would go to the carwash, all us kids would pile in the back of the pickup so we could watch the water as it hit the windows. And I remember, going through the wash, water would begin to spill into the bed of the truck through the bottom of the topper. We would all scream and scream and bang on the windows, telling my Grandpa to stop (this was one of the self-use power sprayers). He just smiled, whistled and kept on his way pretending like he’d forgotten all about us. We all just screamed with glee – no fear, just carefree abandon because we knew that my Grandpa was in control.

I think we often forget that, just as my Grandpa was in control that day, we always have a heavenly (Grand)Father who is in control of our lives at all times. I know for me, two weeks prior to this trip, the reality really started to set in, and with it came all of the fear and anxiety. Fear of not fitting in and having a place with the team, fear of leaving the country for the first time, simply put – fear of the unknown. For months and months this was just a date on my calendar and suddenly it was becoming real.  I started having minor panic attacks, couldn’t sleep; I felt so overwhelmed. I didn’t have any control, I no longer had my security blanket.

Luckily, we serve a God that knows us intimately, and knows our every need. Jesus reminds us in Luke chapter 11 that we need only “seek and we will find, knock and the door will be opened to us”.  As I prayed and countless others prayed over me in preparation for this trip, I felt like my anxiety couldn’t be overcome. But I continued to seek, and I continued to knock, and boy was he faithful to his word.

As I said before, my Grandpa has always played a huge role in my life. And in the past ten years or so as his health was beginning to fade I got the idea to get a tattoo of a cross with his birth year and death year on my shoulder when he passed away. For a long time, that day seemed like it would never come, but eventually his health gave out and he passed away in May. I immediately started thinking of my design, and I really wanted to incorporate a scripture. For some reason, the verse Joshua 1:9 kept coming to mind. It was God’s reassurance to Joshua as he took over for Moses that he needn’t be afraid – he just had to trust in God. God would be his security blanket. Just like my Grandpa with the sprayer, Joshua could take comfort in the fact that his heavenly Father promised to be in control.

Now, I’m not normally a reader – I think the last time I finished a whole book without the help of spark notes was my Freshman year of High School. But I also know that I can’t sleep on flights and I didn’t want to waste a 14-hour flight watching movies and likely getting motion sickness. So I decided I would take on the challenge and read an entire book by the time our flight landed in Dubai. As I was scrolling social media, I had seen a friend reading a book by Bob Goff called “Everyone Always”. I had seen lots of his TED talks and loved his message, so I figured it would probably be a good bet. It’s funny how what we often times view as a subconscious decision, God has as a major part of his plan – this book was a perfect example. I was immediately drawn in by his description of living an authentic life of love. It was as if every thought floating in my head that felt trapped and inexplicable was right on the pages in front of me. Story after story, I read of what true Christ-like love looks like, and witnessed an example of an authenticity that I’d never seen before.

People describe “God moments” in a number of different ways. Some hear an audible voice. Others describe a calmness coming over them. For me, my God moment was three words: Be. Not. Afraid. As I read those words, tears instantly began streaming down my face. It was as if my Grandpa was right there with me, at the start of this new unknown journey – God had given me my security blanket.

Fear is an interesting concept in our society. When we hear that word, we often think about scary movies or being frightened, but it’s so much more complex than that. We fear failure. We fear rejection. We fear love. We fear one another. It’s almost ironic if you step away from it – we live in a society that covets control and yet we let fear control our entire life. How often do we let fear stop us from living out a Christ-like life? Instead we resort to keep our head down, drive from work to home without making any eye contact with anyone because Lord forbid we look at them the wrong way or maybe even exchange a smile. You always hear that we should make it less about Religion and more about Relationship, but that has never been more clear than my time here in Ethiopia. Living a Christ-like life is really quite simple when you boil it down – it’s about love. Jesus lays it out perfectly in John, “By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Be. Not. Afraid.  As you read this post and go out about the rest of your week, I encourage you to remember those three words. Remember that we are called to love, and no matter where you are, you always have your ultimate security blanket with you; even all the way in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

“One day you’ll make sense of it all, Jesus. One day every question resolved. Every anxious thought left behind. Not more fear. When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be. When we all see Jesus, we’ll sing and shout the victory.”

– Beau

Fear built up inside me while sitting in room 3 of the Guest House, my bedroom, when the lights suddenly went out. Just moments before, I was i the middle of a text message to my mother. I was about to press the send button when the WiFi bar usually placed at the top of my screen vanished. A lump developed in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes as I realized I had lost connection to my loved ones back home.

This is how the morning of my first day in Addis Ababa began. In a house full of (at the time) strangers in a completely foreign country, I sat on my bed holding back tears feeling more alone than ever. I struggled to pray and regain comfort because all I could hear in my head was my own voice saying “I shouldn’t be here, I need to get out some how.” My morals kept me from leaving, but my instincts screamed at me to buy the first plane ticket home. At this point I had yet to actually let a tear drop from my eyes. I couldn’t let a team who barely knew me see how broken and weak I was without my family.

I continued to get ready for my first full day in Addis and stayed pretty quiet all morning. At 6:45 we separated into our two teaching groups for daily devotional. I quickly realized everyone was expected to share even a small bit during this time. More anxiety washed over my mind and heart. I wouldn’t be able to share even the slightest bit without crying. When I felt called to share, I didn’t just speak, I poured out every feeling I had balled up since our plane left the runway in Belgrade. Stephanie placed her hand on my leg and Beau’s hand rested on my shoulder as I began to weep. Without even trying, my first few connections were made.

Later that morning we piled in the vans to transport ourselves and the supplies to the school for the first time. Although I was beginning to feel better after opening up to my team for the first time, I still felt anxious about the remainder of my trip. That lasted a short lived 40 minutes in the van and was swept away immediately upon entering the school. 

A bus full of kids poured into the halls. Some running, some walking, the kids approached us outside the classrooms. Keep in mind, this is my first time in Addis and unlike many others on my team, these kids do not know who I am. 

Nevertheless, the first kid, a boy named Akele, grabs my hand and pulls me towards him for a hug. 

Connection made.

Another boy repeats the same actions, his name being Fares, and asks me my name.

Connection made.

The next is a sweet girl with glasses and a purple shirt who grabs me and yells with a big smile on her face, “I am Bamlak!” 

Connection made.

This pattern continued until I had met and hugged nearly 25 children in a matter of minutes. All so eager and excited to see me without even knowing my name or who I am. I was a stranger to them yet they immediately let me into their lives, let me make a connection with them.

Over the course of a week I have gained a new family consisting of every single one of my teammates. I have let two dozen children into my heart, all of which I will never forget. Meanwhile, the majority of the time there was no cell service, no social media, even no light at times. However, I know all of this was supposed to happen because He needed me to learn an important lesson:

The most important connections are made when there is no “connection.” 

Kiersten Miller

This has not been the trip I expected. But it has been the trip I deserved.  What that means is I have been sick from the moment we have landed.  Unable to hold down any food and unable to eat the dinners for the first few days. I tried to tough it out. Until I finally had to wave the white flag. Take my Zpac. Rest and recuperate for a day. And that was the last thing I wanted to do. 

The reason this is the trip I have deserved does not come from the sickness, but I have been closed off to My Savior for a long time. Not in the sense that I don’t want to be in a relationship with Jesus. But that I haven’t felt the need for Him. 

During one of our morning devotionals where I was feigning health and positivity, a leader said so simply that on missions trips or in ministry, anything you do over again will not be the same as the first time. 

Returning to Ethiopia, I was expecting to be easy-going and care-free when it came to the food and culture of Ethiopia again and instead I feel like some of my teammates probably did last year, sicker than they hoped to be. Naturally tearing up, having to stay behind and watch as the rest of the team left for the day to see beautiful smiles and unwavering love. And where as I didn’t have the compassion for them last year. I do now. But as for God. I do not pass blame or ask for simple healing. I just know that this soon will pass. And pass it did. 

More pertinently, the lesson I have learned from my time under the weather here is that I have to turn to Him. In the U.S., I can so easily work out if I feel negatively about my body. I can relax if I feel stressed. I can show affection to my wife (or dog) to feel loved back. But what I was missing was a true healing. A daily healing. Where my sickness is not something I can just lay at home in Bozeman and ease through.  This situation has shown me that though God’s plans are firm, they are by no means fun all the time. 

I had to rely on prayer that I would be able to spend time with the kids, with the team, and not just in my own sickly confines.  My prayers have been answered. I have a week left to pour love and affection into the kids of Bring Love In, my teammates experiencing this place with me, and back into my God. 

– Carl

Driving to the school on our first day with the kids filled me with worry. I was so excited to see the children, but my anxious mind wandered to questioning whether or not these kids were feeling the same way. I was scared that the kids would cling to those on our team who had been previous years. I knew it was a silly worry, but I couldn’t push it out of my mind. So I prayed. And I prayed. And I prayed. 

God heard my prayers. 

Within a minute of the children arriving I knew that my frantic, scared mind would be put to ease. The tiniest girl came running up to me and wasted no time making me her best friend. We HAD to sit together every day, no exceptions. Our pictures HAD to be color coordinated. We became inseparable. 

Sitota is a ball of fire, energy, joy, and LOTS of sass. Her facial expressions are second to none and her smile… the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t believe that I could love a child so much, yet here I was, tearing up with every goodbye. 

As we left the school one day, Sitota and I wandered over to our driver Ishy, and he explained to me that the name Sitota meant “gift”. It’s impossible for me to imagine a greater gift than this child and her relentless love. This child stole my heart (and my watch) a million times over. God’s timing is always perfect, and tiny little Sitota was the most precious gift I will ever receive. 

All I can say is God is so good and I am beyond blessed to be here!

– Melissa

My husband Brandon has gone to Ethiopia the past two summers.  Whenever he left I would lay on the guilt trip about him being gone for two weeks.  He was always very gracious and kind toward me during my childish episodes but what he should have done is taken me by the shoulders and shouted at me, “You have no clue the difficulties of the world and the grace with which they handle them.  Two weeks is nothing in relationship to eternity.”

This year he asked me to come along.  My initial response was “No”.  How could we possibly leave our four children for two weeks?  How would they survive without one of us to parent, to take care of their every need or control how their days went?   Really what I was more concerned with was controlling my life.  After many discussions, much praying and planning and a bit of worrying I said “Yes” to accompanying Brandon to Ethiopia for his third trip.

God in His infinite wisdom knew I needed to be here and see this remarkable country and meet these beautiful people.  I am humbled that I get to be here.  I have cried tears of joy as I am experiencing this place and its people, being with the Bring Love In children.  I have wept in my bed at night as I think of the Ethiopian people who have humbly served me.  I am praying for God to continue to soften my heart.

I see the ugliness within me that comes out daily and it makes me want to weep.  How can I be so shallow about this life?  The desires of my heart are not something I want to publicly admit.  My desires and daily prayers have not been for more love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness or humbleness. My desires reflect where my treasures lie.  Jesus warned me, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moths and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moths and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.”

Recently, back at home, I was quite upset by what was going to be built across the street from our home—it will block my view of the mountains.  Ugh.  How gross. My easy life has given me a very warped view of reality.   Is this the reality that God wants for my life?

Speaking of my daily life, I love my children very much but as I reflect on my parenting many times my prayers have been for success and ease of life.  I am more concerned with what extra-curricular activities my kids should participate in than how to disciple them and show them the fruits of the Spirit.  Again, ugh.

In Jesus’ Sermon on The Mount he calls us to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world.  He says, “In the same way let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven.”  I want our four kiddos to see us live out a faith that follows what Jesus called us to do, love people, love widows and orphans and “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  This will be impossible but it is what I want to pursue.

A sermon I recently heard, the pastor said “Love is how success is defined in the Kingdom of God”.   Sadly, I miss the chance to love others, more often than I would like to admit because I make up lame excuses or chicken out because it could be awkward or ignore things because it will get in the way of what my heart desires.

On the 14-hour plane ride to Dubai, I sat next to a kind Ethiopian man named Solomon.  He was talking about the humanity in their new Prime Minister.  Humanity.  I have been stuck on this word since then.  Humanity means “the quality or state of being human•compassionate, sympathetic or generous disposition”.  These are the traits that are to define us as human beings.  How do I get it so wrong? Is my life defined by these human qualities?

Dear God, Forgive me for not loving people well.  Forgive me for not being compassionate, sympathetic or having a generous disposition.  Forgive me for my fear.  Forgive me for storing up my treasures on earth.  Please change me into a person more like your Son.  You are a good, good Father.  You are perfect in all of your ways.

– Stephanie

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope!” 
- Jeremiah 29:11

Today we made our final leg of the trip and touched down in Addis after two full days of travel – after circling Addis a few times, we landed amidst a bumpy thunderstorm.

The feeling of being back is truly indescribable. The first thing that came back to me when I stepped off the plane was the smell; the smell of Ethiopia is so incredibly unique – there is no way to really describe it, but I love it, and I missed it. As we walked out of the airport and started to see familiar faces such as our drivers; Ephraim and Ishy, everything finally became so real, that we are here! We finally arrived in this perfect place! We loaded 35 bags of donated luggage full of clothing and shoes for the children on top of our vans, loaded up and headed home. The feeling of being here was surreal, it felt as if we almost never left. Adjusting into simplicity here takes no effort.

We arrived at our guest house and so many familiar customs came back to me, things like not being able to flush toilet paper, carrying a bottle of clean water to the bathroom with me when I brush my teeth, and electricity to name a few. All of which I take completely for granted in my everyday life.

These next two weeks I get to experience a God fully present in front of me in every single moment every single day. I get to experience life, love, friendships, hardships, faith, personal and spiritual growth all with no distractions. As we prepare to see the Bring Love In children tomorrow my heart is nearly overwhelmed by the amount of joy that I know is to come. To keep this simple, I am so grateful for the opportunity to be here! I will be still in the waiting as I watch God work through me, with me and beside me during this once again life-changing experience.

Love,
Kirsten

In preparation for this trip, I reread my journals from 2016. One sentence said, “Relationships are what matter.” Man, what a reminder that was. A prayer I continue to have throughout this journey is a mind that is open and intentional. As we entered the town of Addis all the familiar sights and smells brought me back.
Though it was the same, it all also seemed so different. This time I wasn’t just seeing all around me, but I had an eye locked on the people. I forgot how many there were. They wander the streets all day and night. I couldn’t help but tear up as I thought about the 6 million stories and lives here in Addis, now mine included. But where does mine even fit in? On the first day back I found myself thinking, “what in the world am I doing here?”

This is a scary thought when you have just spent 3 days traveling to get halfway across the world to a place familiar yet so unknown.
During this trip I have so far questioned my purpose in every way, but have remained focused on trusting God, knowing He is in control and taking in all that I can.

Today, our first day with the kids, was one of excitement, love, and learning. Not only was the learning done through what we are teaching them (English and Bible stories) but it was done in rebuilding relationships with the kids. It took a bit for our group to warm up, but once we were started, the kids began their ruckus. After school, we had the opportunity to visit one of the families’ homes. The mother prepared a coffee ceremony for us. This included corn on the cob, eaten mostly piece by piece rather than big bites, mixed nuts, popcorn and dark, rich coffee. It was amazing to see all she did to provide us a welcoming and how she so selflessly served us while we visited. On the way walking to the house I walked with Aida and we chatted quite a bit.
Though there was a significant language barrier, I enjoyed sharing stories and laughing with her.

Following the gathering, I spent the car ride conversing with our driver Ishy. He told me his story of coming to Christ and how it has affects him today. He said that it was a mission group that returned year after year that showed him the love of Jesus, and he realized that was what he wanted all along.

Today gave me some purpose.

The song lyric that keeps reflecting in my head is, “God you don’t need me, but somehow you want me.”

This is so true regarding the place I am in. The weight of the world is off of my shoulders in knowing that God’s will can be fulfilled no matter if I am here or not, but I want to be a part of it and so does God.

So, as I end my day, I no longer ask, “what in the world am I doing here?”, but rather, “what in the world are you trying to do through me, God?”

This question may never be answered, but I know God has a plan in it all.

– Josie

Carl and I were sitting in the fire tower on top of Garnet Mountain (I know, right?) when our dear friends asked us what we were most looking forward to in going back to Ethiopia. That wasn’t a hard question for me to answer as I responded with an answer that surprised them. “I want the God I experience in Ethiopia to be the God I experience here. I can’t wait to encounter that God.” Let me back up for a second.

Upon our return to the United States last year, our team had a follow-up meeting and one of the team members (who is coming with us again this year), made a comment about how tangible God feels in Ethiopia and she said that exact same thing; “I want the God I experience in Ethiopia to be the one I feel here.” The group nodded in agreement as we all understood exactly what she was talking about.

In that conversation with our friends, I came to a realization that I am craving an encounter with Jesus. I am craving to feel Him and know Him in the way I do when I am in Ethiopia and with the kids. More importantly, I am excited for God to invade my heart and teach me how to be more like Him. Our friends beautifully asked why it is that we think we experience God differently there and we proceeded to brainstorm all the “American things” we could blame for disrupting any encounter with God: The glorification of busy, the grip of consumerism, and the misconception of comfort and security. All these things get in the way of depending and relying on God because it makes us the god of our own hearts.

As I have been reflecting on the conversation we had that night, I keep praying that God would open my eyes and reveal what exactly is keeping me from “experiencing” Him here in the United States. I keep praying that He would provide clarity in the prayers I’m praying and that He would help me know how to bring Him back; and then, I find myself randomly asking God to break my heart for what breaks His. I don’t even know why I am praying these things, but I know He is pulling me towards Him…and I’m going. I’m running.

I have absolutely no idea what God is going to do while we are over there, but I humbly ask that you would continue praying for us as we all begin to break down any walls in our hearts and experience Him in radical ways. Pray for healthy relationships among our team of 18 and pray for the kids of Bring Love In. Whatever it is that you feel compelled to pray for, even if you don’t understand why you’re praying for it, pray it big because He will answer these prayers one way or another. Our team thanks you for all your support as we begin this journey.

I can’t wait for you to meet the rest of our team,

Jourdan

July 31st: Today is a very special day for me.  Not only are we coming home but it’s also my 13th birthday. If I was Ethiopian that would mean 1/4 of my life would probably be over.  Why? Because of the unsanitary conditions, lack of medical care, unclean water, sewer drainage, poor shelter, etcetera. Even under these conditions, the people have more joy than many Americans. They appreciate the small things and friendships.

During this trip to Ethiopia my mom and I went to Uganda to visit our sponsored child. He and I share the same name; Moses. We’ve been sponsoring him for five years now and have been writing back and forth.  As we gave his family gifts, people from the village exploded with ululation (i learned what ululating means on this trip). Just like the Ethiopians I met, they were so appreciative, from barettes to soccer balls.

I won’t forget the sights I’ve seen these two weeks and the new friendships I’ve made. They’ve changed my life forever. I would like to ask everyone to pray for the 2017 Journey Ethiopian Team.  Please pray that we will hear what God has to say to us and be obedient to what He tells us to do.

Amasaganalo!!

– Moses

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

  – Colossians 3:12

This post is a conglomeration of thoughts, feelings and emotions from my journey in Ethiopia.

Two weeks has gone by incredibly fast. We just boarded our plane to Dubai, and I am sitting here thinking about the journey home and returning to “normal life”, whatever that will look like for me. To try to describe this experience seems nearly impossible. Attempting to put into words the sights, smells, sounds and tastes from this trip is indescribable. My life is forever changed!

Immediately upon arrival into Addis we were immersed into a new culture much different than that we came from. Evident poverty, abnormal driving, a language barrier, unfamiliar smells, trash lined streets filled with tarps and metal scraps for building structures and most importantly a welcoming of love from our hosts at the guest house. Anxiously we settled in and eagerly waited for the first day with the Bring Love In children.

Waking up and leaving for our first day of school I had no expectations but I was quickly amazed when the kids came flooding through the door with arms open wide, smiles and joy beamed in their eyes and it was so overwhelming. My eyes filled with tears meeting, hugging and falling in love with every single child that morning – and in this moment I knew God had brought me here with all of the best intentions. I was given purpose all over again.

Throughout my two weeks, I had many uplifting moments as well as my fair share of heart break and emotions. Each day was filled with a new set of emotions – but I can truly say God has broken my heart for the things that break his: The woman we drove past on the streets at 9 o’clock at night sleeping on a tarp with infants and young children, to the homeless man with one hand and no legs lying on a fence post unable to transport anywhere, the children selling odds and ends on the sides of the road just trying to bring in enough birr (Ethiopian currency) for food that day. That is what breaks God’s heart. Those are short glimpses of why I too, am left leaving Ethiopia broken hearted. Never before have I seen beauty and pain intertwined in such a powerful way. God, you truly take what is in front of you and you make it beautiful. The country of Ethiopia that I got the blessing to experience from Addis, to Meki, to the countryside at the Portuguese Bridge – it was all an absolute beautiful disaster.

I am sitting reading through pages of journal entries, pages of tear-filled thoughts, laughs and moments – moments of impact I will never forget.

Returning home I think of things, small things that I am excited and grateful for, things that I mistakenly took for granted:

• Toilet paper (that I can flush!)
• Personal hygiene
• Drinkable water
• Clean air
• Easily-accessible medical care
• Nutritious food
• Clean clothes
• Family and friends
• Access to education

I did not fully realize the blessings I am so fortunate to have daily until I experienced those around me that have literally nothing but the tattered clothes on their backs – who still walk with grace and joy because no matter who is against them, God will always be for them. I did not realize the negativity an ungratefulness around me until my heart was broken for those I was surrounded by. The eyes, the smiles, the love, it is all burned inside of me and engrained in me forever. I am going home with a feeling of uneasiness knowing God has stirred something inside of me and waiting, praying and trusting to know his plans are better than I could ever imagine.

See you in the states,

Kirsten